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The path from divorce or trauma to healing can be challenging if you don’t know where to begin, and various resources are available to aid your recovery, although most people stuck in this uncomfortable post-divorce state do not know how to find them.
One such tool is manifestation — a big buzzword in the healing realm. Many people who understand the concept have made remarkable changes in their lives. Did you know that learning how to use manifestation can help you heal and create a new and happy life? It is one of the most important tools in any healing journey.
Many people think that manifestation means imagining what you want and waiting for it to come true (which is partially true), or even more frequently, manifestation is viewed as something one has to MAKE happen – controlling the result. Because of this perception, many people try too hard and fail.
Manifestation does require envisioning what you want…But there are some rules to follow to get the results you want from manifestation to heal.
1. Adopt a manifestation mindset
The first requirement for using manifestation is to tweak one’s mindset. Most people who are unable to start the healing process are stuck there because they are in a victim mindset – this is the refusal to believe that only they are responsible for their own happiness and for the creation of their lives. In the victim state, people blame others for their unhappiness, especially the former spouse (in divorce). They are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for their healing and lives.
In order to get out of the victim mindset so you can truly help yourself get on track with healing and moving forward to a happy life, you need to realize there is a formula to achieve the right manifestation mindset: Desire + Belief + Expectation (credit here to the incomparable author Shakti Gawain).
This trifecta appears in several different areas of healing. It means that one must not only desire to start healing and moving on to a new, happy life but also believe it will happen and expect it to happen. Although most people desire to heal and move on, many tend to have issues with belief and expectation, especially with expectation; the more prevalent the victim mindset the more difficult it is to believe and expect a positive change.
2. Create your vision
Once the mindset is in the right place, it is time to envision what you want the new life to look like. This usually involves many aspects — like where you will live, work and play, whether you will find love again, your passions and purpose and other aspects of the new life. Sometimes, those visions will take time to manifest, which is okay, as there is a lot of other healing work to be done in conjunction with manifestation that will help define the new life and what you need/want to be happy.
Don’t be alarmed if you aren’t sure how you want your new chapter to look. Keep doing the healing work, and it will come in time. There are plenty of other areas to focus on, like getting out of the victim state, learning to let go (especially of fear), finding the right support networks, recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking care of body, mind and spirit – to name a few! Once you start using manifestation, you will create and envision the next steps, which will be much easier. With each step you take up the healing ladder, your new life will become clearer until you can envision it in full, colorful detail…and that is when you will manifest exactly what you want.
3. Be patient and enjoy the process
It is important to be patient and work on each area of healing (many of which are done simultaneously) in order to get through the healing process and come out into the light. It is also important to recognize that the healing journey never ends; although you will get to a point where you feel renewed and have a happy new life (just like you manifested), the self-work never ends as each of us is forever a work in progress. Therefore, it is important to enjoy the journey and seek the lessons in each step. This will both humble you and make you stronger.
Another important rule when it comes to being patient is to recognize that you cannot control the manifestation result. Being human, we can determine what we truly want in our new post-divorce or post-trauma life, but cannot force it to happen. We can only control the actions we take toward what we want, and keep our desires, beliefs and expectations in check. The rest is up to God/the Universe (or however you define the higher source). In other words, if you do the work and realize the trifecta, you need to then put it in the hands of that higher source — so there is a bit of faith involved — this is why expectation is so important.
Once you have committed to the journey and begin exploring the different modalities of healing, taking time to learn about yourself as you travel along from divorce to bliss, you will start to notice changes within yourself. Enjoy each step and stick with it, even though it will be difficult, because the new you who emerges – like a butterfly from the chrysalis – will be a higher and more beautiful version of you.